Sunday, July 8, 2012
When I was in campus I had these things that made life
easier. When I left I gave them to some girls so their lives would be made
easier as well. But then there are those I carried home, they were reminders
for me of a place in my life, a stage I went through and came out of alive. I thought
I would keep them for a while, maybe even until my own daughter (my mouth to
Your ears Lord!!) was old enough to see them, you know… and then I had to let
them go. And I finally realized that it was over. I am done with campus. I am,
again, out there, the real ‘out there’ forget the one we always fussed about in
high school. That ‘out’ was nothing. This is it. And it’s here.
I know countless people have walked before me along this
road. Some have made it easy, some have made it through nothing short of sheer
stubbornness, and some have tried and failed. And I wonder, how did they feel
after campus? How did they feel when they sent out applications to any and
every job advertised because any job at that point would suffice? Were they as confused and unsure as I am? Today
I watched this movie, this guy told this girl that the reason she could never
find anyone who could make her dreams come true was the fact that she didn’t
know those dreams herself. When you don’t know what you’re looking for, how do
you know when you’ve found it? When you don’t know where you’re going, how do
you know when you get there? How easy is it to decide the rest of my life based
on my 20-some years worth of knowledge? What do I know about corporate affairs,
and seven to five jobs… how will I feel if in 10 years I’m still doing what I’m
doing now? Will I be satisfied, will I be happy? Or will I start counting the
years to retirement with nothing to do but work on because the bills need
paying? Should I take that course everyone seems to believe is the answer to a
direct sure job? After I get there will I want to be in the field for the rest
of my life?
Did anyone ever find one answer to just one of these
questions? Some welcome to life…
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