especially in my own home, where i long to act as i should

If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and who, when they have chastened him, will not heed them, then his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city, to the gate of his city. And they shall say to the elders of his city, "This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious;he will not obey our voice, he is a glutton and a drunkard." Then all the men of his city shall stone him to death with stones; so shall you put away the evil from among you...

Deuteronomy 21:18-21

I've been thinking about this verse for some time now. It was a very interesting law, not because they stoned them peoples who were gluttonous and drunkards ;))) , but what intrigues me most is how parents were required to kill, so to speak,their child. I know from my mum that a parent's worst fear is that of having to bury their own child. But now in this they are to actually kill him! Imagine that!

Yesterday I watched the movie 'The Freedom Writers' , decidedly the most dopest movie I have watched in a long time. This is a story of teenagers growing up in the hood, where the kids handled guns on a daily basis, and you could be shot for being the wrong colour of skin. the black shot the whites, the Hispanics shot the blacks, and no one cared about justice, only about 'their own'. People got put away for crimes they did not commit, because the star witness was protecting the real perp. It was never about justice, only that someone had to pay, it didn't matter who. I've grown up sheltered from all kinds of crap, so I can't speak with much authority on the subject, but I have friends who've grown up in the ghettos (of  course in Kenya it's probably not that bad). Still, trying to educate those kids was a tall order for anyone, of what good is good grammar to a child who may never get to school tomorrow morning? And at thirteen, fourteen years of age, kids have already learnt hate, are already in gangs, and have already lost three or four friends to gang violence. How do you teach kids like that, what do you say to them to make it all better? How do you bring sense to a situation which has no sense? How do you stop the Hispanic from punching the black student in class? But Erin Gruwell, a white 24 year old school teacher, full of vigour and life, was able to do it, she made a difference. She invested her life in them, those hopeless teenagers who hated her on sight, because she was white, she taught them good grammar and tenses, and she taught them life. She did the impossible: she earned their respect, all of them. I cried when I watched this movie, it's just one of those stories. But that may not have been my point.

One of the young men in that class, Marcus, his mum threw him out when he joined a gang. How do you bring up straight-shooting children in an environment like that? How do you teach them justice, when they see their father being carried away for someone else's crime? How do you teach them to have faith, growing up homes where the next meal was a miracle? How do you unteach them violence, and retaliation, kids who, at sixteen, had seen more dead bodies than a mortician, most of them of people they knew? But that's how they were brought up. While 'normal' kids are taught how to ride bikes by their dads, these kids were taught boxing, how to handle a gun. They were taught that nobody's innocent. 

I'm now trying to get my hands on the Freedom Writer's Diary, the real book (the movie was based on a true story) I don' think I have ever been affected this much by a story. I keep thinking about my kids, about how hard it might be to bring up kids, even in the best environment. Sometimes you can do everything right, and still... Sometimes I may have to be the one to pick up the first stone... Like David, all I can say is 

I will try to walk a blameless path, but how I need Your help, especially in my own home, where I long to act as I should!

Psalms 101:2