i cannot love you

I love you,

In your eyes I see your soul

And the love in their depths astounds me

Your smile, it makes my heart skip

It skips and skips and skips

I love you, though I must not love you

But my palms sweat in anticipation

Every time you walk into a room

Of its own volition, heart runs to you

And I stop breathing…

For a moment I stand, frozen in time…

I’m lost in your gaze

I love you, yet I should not love you

Lila na fila havitangamani

Miye lila, nawe fila

Itakuaje kwenda njia moja?

But against all reason,

Defying all sentiment

You light a fire under my feet,

And with just one touch

I lose every train of thought

I forget everything but you

I love you, but I cannot love you

Because I love you too much

I cannot love you even though

Every time my feet set to walking

They’re going towards you

Every time my lips are parted

It’s your name they continually utter

I cannot love you

I have to leave you

Though I know I will die without you

I know my life is meaningless apart from you

And my love, I hope you understand

I hope one day you will forgive me

For walking away without turning

Even though every step I take is one mile long

Forgive me my love

Because I had to go

How can I tell them my child is white?

How can I explain this... what we have?

Believe me love, it was the only way

If they had killed my child, our child,

They would have killed me as well

I pay my dues everyday,

I die for my sins everyday,

My heart aches for you

My tears have run dry

For though I cannot love you, my heart won’t listen

So love, still love, I love you…

My first complete poem in over a year. It is, for the record,, not based on a true story. ;))) It just reminds me of my younger days in more ways than one