Faith over fear..

It’s Tuesday. This was Saturday’s post; I gave it a hundred and one percent, and then the Wi-Fi went and did its thing. I guess I can still do that whole set the date to Sunday, but meh… Just go with it.

The choices for me this morning were between blogging and being destructive – don’t ask, please don’t ask. Thank God I picked blogging. I have been spoiling for inspiration these past few weeks. They have been crazy ones, and you know, time just flies by. Much as I could answer my CIBAT question about a million times a day, once I started with the silence I couldn’t stop. I have to keep talking or silence will kill me. Silence killed me. Maybe silence keeps killing me.

I read something this morning trolling around Facebook and maybe that’s a little of what inspired this:

When you obey God constantly, privately and for years--He has a way of honouring you publicly. The thing is this: You don’t obey Him for public honour; you obey Him because you LOVE Him. Because you are thankful for Jesus. Because you cannot live without Him. Because He is your life. Because you are lost without Him. Because He is your Lord. And then… like a good father, He gives good gifts to His babies. So, your living for Jesus is not in vain. Hang in there, HE is always watching.

I attribute this to Heather Lindsey, of the Pinky Promise movement. A woman who I follow around, who makes this walk seem actually doable, and not for the rosy petals that we will be walking on as we go down the narrow path, but because she’s real. She’s very real. And I love real. Don’t get me wrong, I love to listen to a good sermon, but like Kirk Franklin in 'Let It Go' I want someone who can ‘teach me how to live when the tongues are done’. Because life is very real. And reality can be very stark.

It is so easy to lift your hands and praise when you have money in the bank, you are in good health, and most things are unfolding as they should. I haven’t had that for some time now... It’s easy to trust God as a Provider when you have a source of livelihood etcetera etcetera. But when the storms come, you know, those ones God tells you He will not get you out of, not in any bad way, but those same platitudes mean little. Because we know them, right? But how do you transform them into practical living?

I think if I ever wrote a book it would be about practical Christianity. It would be how to make God’s principles work in everyday living. Like Joyce Meyer. Transforming Bible pictures into relevant images in our world today, because the Bible was written relevant for EVERY season, from Adam to the day of Jesus Christ. And life is real. So yes, put your trust in Him, but do what in the meantime? Pray, but do what in the time between the prayer and the answer? Practical Christianity. Being not of this world, but living in the world, because we are in the world and we are called as lights in this world. For that, we actually need to be here and do life.

So it’s been a whole lot of waiting and occupying in almost equal measure for the past few years for me. It’s been a whole lot of patience and positivity and despair and crying in almost equal measure. I've had  good friends who've had my back the entire time, and new friends who I hope will be there long after these become the good old days. And now, I think a big door is coming really close, but just like before, I am afraid to hope it’s my door, that the tide could actually be turning. Because even though Heather’s words ring so true, I am far from perfect.

I know Him to remain faithful even when I am faithless, yet still a part of me thinks it too audacious to claim it as my own, ahead of a million more beffiting people. Again the theory of substitution which I spoke of on a Tuesday morning just like this one. Those things that will be mine, there will be someone more fitting, more relevant, more everything, but He will still choose me. Just like He chose the little shepherd boy David, or Gideon, or Mary, or Paul, or Jacob, or Timothy. 

He won't choose me because I deserve it, nothing I've got is anything I deserve. Or for my steadfastness in the face of adversity. He knows my frame, He remembers that I am dust. And as a father has mercy on his children, so will He on me. He is gracious. He makes all things beautiful in His time. So yes and amen, in all things I know it is well.

When He works on the left hand, I cannot behold Him; When He works to the right hand, I cannot see Him; But He knows the way that I take; When He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold. My foot has help fast to His steps; I have kept His way and not turned aside. I have not departed from the commandment of His lips; I have treasured the words of His mouth more than my necessary food.