maybe in another life

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Living with an eclectic part vegetarian is really honing my culinary abilities. That and my mother’s penchant for never wanting to eat the same thing twice. Which makes it impossible for me to draw up a mental menu and just go with it come the day. I think I’m going to be one of those Internet recipe mums, using things like aubergines and watercress and making baked dishes for dinner, complete with dessert hopefully, which I think is awesome. Anyway. Now to begin.

I used to love watching One Tree Hill because it had the blueprint of the place I wished I grew up in. And very wise monologues. Where you had the same friends since nursery school and you could walk around at two am and not worry about muggers.  I very much doubt that anyone in Kenya can have that… maybe if you live in Nyayo estate you have a shot. For some reason I do miss my childhood friends; my runs around the universe would begin shortly after, but for those 7 years, I was with the same people and it seemed like nothing would ever change.

Funny, that life seems like nothing I ever lived, sometimes I can’t remember what was real and what no. But they were some fun years, even though I doubt I’d take them back for free. It’s true though; there will always be a greater or lesser person than yourself. I have a good memory (mum doesn’t think quite so). Faces, names, numbers, I carry them all in my head, plus a bunch of mundane details about their lives no should ever have to remember. Once I realized this (alert: sounds like those kids who wear ‘different’ like a badge and give speeches about being different) I sort of thought it ran through the ranks. Heaven forbid I should have thought myself special.

I don’t mind it much, I can reconstitute my phonebook fairly solidly after five different incidents, and it always helps when you’re stranded, perhaps because of the aforementioned incident. until I discovered it's not an everyone thing. Took me a while to stop begrudging people for not being the same way. I think no one escapes the trap of comparison, at least for a while, if not ever. Tonight I’m supposed to be writing about memes, I’m bone tired, slightly under the weather and I’ve got a before dawn start tomorrow. Still. So I read this one (whilst researching meme-like things). That’s how my blog posts always start, can you tell?

Today’s desiderata portion is easy I guess. Avoid loud and aggressive persons. Part of being mellow, if I dare use the term, is being secretly stubborn. Set in your ways. Avoiding confrontation and being silently piqued. In the past I would run and never look back (from those people). Thank heavens I’ve learnt how to cope. But I guess even in my higher state of existence, there are those who can only rightly be described as tedious. I still avoid those. Like the plague. Along with crowds of strange people. I’m a small party kinda girl, where small is two preferably close friends who also know each other. Awkward filler conversations I am unable. :) :) :)

I think everyone should learn how to surround themselves with silence. And how to live in their head. Maybe just not when you’re crossing the road or chopping vegetables. Being with me is something I do, not in any narcissistic way, it’s just, changing location every couple of months, you have to adapt. I did, even though sometimes I miss the company; you see something beautiful and immediately you know someone who would appreciate it just like you but they are too far.

I hope one day I get to live in a safe place, cause I’d really love to take a midnight walk. I’ve always been drawn to the night: the quiet, the peace, the clarity. I’m at my best in the night. Some of my best work happens after midnight. And the stars. And the lights from a distance. Maybe I should go camping. It’s like the best of both worlds. Being out at night and being in at the same time. These concrete jungles we’ve built, no one can even see a single star for all the electricity. You can’t see a nice moon out and stuff like that…

I really want to go for that walk someday. And go to Greenland and see the Northern Lights (and then get out of there really fast). Also, I wish Lucas’s book was a real one; it would be an awesome read. I really am quite tired. 2500 words from me tonight? About memes? Well, if you’re going to be awake all night it might as well be about memes rather than offer courses on Guang Zhou I presume.

Well, that will be all for now. More later. I do wonder what lies ahead. What’s at the end? And I wonder why certain scents refuse to fade. Did you know the nose can identify and store 50,000 different scents? And attach memories to them? Thinking about Lifehouse isn’t quite the thing to do either, much nostalgia.

Let me get my socks and get with the memes. Else Martin won’t like me very much come morning.