hail to the geeks

DISCLAIMER: It’s a hot Saturday afternoon, I’m sequestered, lain on the coolest place I could find - the floor, listening to rock music from 2004, enjoying my own company. Ergo, I’m not sure what I want to say. So I might say nothing at all.

I met a geek. For some reason I’ve always liked geeks. Geeks, not nerds, not sure there’s a difference, but oh well… so geeks, you know, text-book (preferably IT) geeks, socially awkward until they’re talking about stuff they actually know stuff about. Maybe it’s got something to do with my brothers, who knew stuff about stuff, and were very smart, or very talented. Growing up two were, actually still are, musical geniuses who can probably play any instrument. Everybody says it’s my dad, most of whose photos from back then have him wielding a guitar. The other was THAT BOY, you know, the one who the headmaster offered Kshs. 300 to anyone who would ever beat him. But no one did. For the three years he was in primary after we moved to Mumias, he was first. And me, well, then there was me. 

I guess I just loved looking at them being them, and wonder where I fit…. So I became a mass of contradictions… few things have changed since. Anyway, I sorely digressed. Refer back to before, I was saying geeks. I think I might marry one one day :) :) :) :) so we can be socially awkward together. Crowds freak me out, strange crowds. The only time I have a voice is on paper. So, I was writing about this data protection program last week, computer stuff, about which I know just enough to get by, and I discovered I was strangely fascinated. Somehow I think that in the course of my travels, I’ll have done so many things, before I finally settle into being me. Which suits my ends marvelously. 

But I guess I just have one of those minds. I’m ridiculously fascinated by knowledge, any knowledge. Okay, knowledge about how stuff works I guess. I figure I might tie myself because I’ve not read as wide. But every time someone is talking about how stuff works, I’m all ears. Doesn’t matter whether I understand or not. I don’t think anything’s more on-turning than a man in his element, doing the thing that he does best, or talking about it. It’s the reason I loved what I did in campus, even though I haven’t found much use for most of it yet. If nothing else, I get to continually poke holes in my mum’s internet-derived theories about what’s good for the body. That, and those times we'd be studying ridiculous pathways, and I'd see something totally cool, and go like, "Hey Creator of Man, I see what You did there, good one!" It’s almost reward enough :))))))

So anyway, I’ve been blog housekeeping, and combing the hindernet for a template that has my name written all over it (it seriously wouldn’t hurt if my name was written all over it), but then as a result I’ve got some of these things I have no use for. Like that ‘follow me on twitter’ up there that doesn’t work, and is of little use, because my twitter account has 3 tweets :))))))) and I don’t want anyone to find out I actually have one. Oh drat and double drat!! More so after visiting my brother’s and finding that he’s got 9694 tweets. Where do you even catch up from right? Hence how I started this conversation about geeks. There, now we’ve gone full circle. We can stop.

to Sir, with love

I think staying up late has become to me some sort of religion, every day I must fall asleep the same day I wake up. It’s definitely one of the things I miss most during early morning seasons, so I guess it’s awesome that I can indulge every day for a while. This evening was one of those super laid-back evenings. Just Aunty BT, mum and I, and a whole lot of giggly lady stories and laughs… It’s ironic that our home is now a ladies’ den, because I only have brothers. I digress. I don’t think we’ve had an evening to just live and let live, laugh till tears roll down our faces in a while… Mostly you’re busy getting this done, that done, finding out whether he needs something… You know even though  nobody wants to admit it, one gets drained serving. Martha did… and I don’t think it was coz she’s a bad person either… On occasion you just need to have time to get to those things that you never get a minute to do, because between nursing and work and normal chores and classes, something will not get the attention due it. 

So today we dealt with those, the huge pile of laundry for ironing that almost displaced us from the room, shelves and what-nots that hadn’t been touched in forever…Getting ready for his return… doing chores whilst listening to Joyce Meyer and her funny practical home truths, hhhmmm…. Do your responsibility and cast the care… many people cast the responsibility and keep the care… The son who started out demanding to be given, and matured into “Make me one of your servants”. 

Anyway, we were reflecting on the last few weeks, and what we’ve seen dad work through… it’s just amazing… when I came from Nairobi soon after he fell ill I remember my heart stopping for a while. Okay, nearly stopping for a while. But here he is, talking some, he didn’t even have a voice then, eating some, gaining back some of the weight, slowly mending… I think I’ve been too engrossed with the worry of “When Lord when” to actually call the progress like it is... but I see it now… And he’s an amazing man, the other day when I had to leave him at the hospital, he was the one trying to calm me down, telling me that he’s there because there’s no other way to treat him, and that I shouldn’t worry it’s not a huge deal… 

I’m the baby of the home, and after high school I’ve spent most of my time around home, so maybe I’m a little ‘contained’. Dads are supposed to be Superman, and I thank God because he was that, and so much more… from those times when he’d jav from Eld with milk and a bunch of other stuff every Friday, leaving early Monday morning… As much as time permitted he was there, he’s always been around… And I count our family as one of the more fortunate ones…

So tonight I lay aside the worry, I cast the care, I am doing what is my responsibility at the present time. It is well. Because Romans 8:28. Si.

my hometown...

I should stop this wanting to blog on holidays thing. It makes me seem like I write for special occasions. But I guess writing is like a bathroom break, you gotta go when you gotta go. Well, I may not have the gene encoding excitement over the calendar, but 1^st Jan is one of those days even I consider. Consider, not go bananas… I used to think it was another chance at a fresh start, until I discovered it was also just another set of 24 hours, much like my birthday and all else in between. You start anywhere, where you are at the time you decide to start. And the millions of corny forwards!!! Anyway, I’m taking these genes back where I got them. I need feelings.

There’s a baby in our house today. That happens every once in never, so I guess it’s special in a way. Until it’s nightfall and the little bundle of gladness would rather cry than sleep… with a headache the size of Russia, it’s the last thing I need… but then we recall, children are a heritage from the Lord, and blessed in he who has a quiver full of them. Though I’m certainly glad tonight our quiver is full of just the one :)

 

It rained too, after sweltering heat these past weeks, and the coolness is definitely something I enjoy… May it multiply in the new year, that, and the lovely sunsets, you gotta love the sunsets in Mumias. I haven’t seen anything quite like them. Except maybe the full moon rising from the basketball court in high school. Every full moon we stole away after prep to just go see it rise, so close you could just touch it... Maybe it was that much more priceless because we were where we shouldn’t have been, but whatever… Yes, that far back. Yes, I still remember… Good times!

My pops has been sick for some time, it was bad, and then good and then bad, and now it’s somewhere in between, good health taking it’s sweet time showing up…  What that has done over time is put us in a kind of time warp, moving from one day to the next, praying and monitoring. Most days are good days :) In a way I’m thinking my circadian rhythm is way off course, when is today? (It’s against the law to drug babies who are not sick, no? Drat!!!) I keep thinking Tuesday, I was sure this year Christmas was on Tuesday, which means I went a whole week a day behind. It probably doesn’t help that we’re watching soccer at 9pm… those news guys tell us the day and time, though much good that does with only 3 hours left to the day I guess… Anyway, mum’s been a dynamo of strength and calm, even though we know she feels all things but… More than anything, I want him to be back on his feet… My lips to Your ears Lord…

Replaying Bruce Springsteen’s “My Hometown”. Seems apt to play Tree Hill music when narrating one’s life, walking down the trodden paths… Well, it’s a new year… I won’t have the flu for the rest of the year (thank God the baby slept!!)… But it’s gonna be awesome…

w00p w00p!!! Happy New Year!!!

Forever starts today...

I was gonna go to sleep, because I lost all need for sentimentalism and much ado about calendar dates. And as I sifted through my in-tray to make sure nothing was pending, I decided to write this poem. And I had to do it today. Because I haven't blogged in almost a year. In that time, I've had plenty of starts, plenty of drafts and unfinished thoughts, but never a complete post. So when I wanted to write right now, I wrote right then, and for the first time since the last time, I wrote in less than 20 minutes. maybe I was just lucky, maybe I was truly inspired, but hey, for whatever reason, I wrote a poem! A poem! A poem!

So I'll share my cliches and platitudes, because I have always believed that writing is evidence. And I must have this up before midnight, because I needed to finish it today. And no, it's got nothing to do with the calendar date. to me, it's just, well, TODAY.... :) :)

I PICK TODAY

Today is a new day,

Well, not so new, it’s almost completely done

But it just seems like today is as good as I’m ever gonna get

So I pick today

Yesterday was laden with self-doubt and questions

Standing before my those of my age set

And seeming to lag way behind

So I worried, and hid, and acted like it was all fine

When every night I cried out for a miracle

I hoped that He would see beyond this doubt and selfish ambition

And give me a story of my own to write

Sometimes when tears failed, I took matters into my own hands

But it never quite worked out how I hoped

Because, in the grander scheme of things

Nobody paints a Picasso better than Picasso

But even Picasso began somewhere

So I pick today

I pick my own beginning,

And I pick the end written out for my story

I pick trust and faith in Him who’s Word is true

Has He not said, and will He not do it?

Is there anything too hard for Him?

I pick my pages, and His truth

And I write out a new beginning for me
You say

Tomorrow is coming soon enough

So maybe I ought to wait for tomorrow

But look how much has been lost,

Waiting for the soon enough that never is

I don’t want any part in that

So I pick today

I pick my own journey of faith

I pick the people I shall chance to meet upon the way

I pick intercession for every one of them

I pick out-pouring of my spirit for the needs of my friends

I’ll start today, even though tomorrow’s a breath away

Because in that breath I can

Make someone smile, ease their burden

I can pray, even just two whispered pleas

So that when tomorrow is here,

I’ll have started yesterday

And all I’ll need to do is keep moving ahead
Occupy till He returns

 Just like I did yesterday

Because I picked today

Tomorrow is not mine to have,

So I pick today,

I pick today

I PICK NOW!!!

my dream and happily ever after

Everybody looks for so long for that moment of clarity, for that one moment you can say when you sat somewhere, or you stood somewhere, or someone said something to you, and voila! You began to live life just like that, Snap! Many are not so lucky in this regard. A few have that wonderful experience at some point in their lives, most do not. Most of us just start and restart and restart until you are either too tired, too broken or you make it. Then there is the euphoria that knocks you down when you discover something new, and just like that, you once again throw yourself into it hook, line and sinker.

That's what I'm doing, discovering something new, that maybe my life doesn't have to be the way I planned, that maybe I can have it all , maybe I can leave behind a worthy legacy, maybe I can raise myself and in turn help humanity, because the empathetic pat on the shoulder can only go so far. So I choose to believe it for what it can be, with more than a little faith, more than a little hope. My mother says not to put all these my eggs in one basket, but how many basket do I have? How many lives? Nonetheless, I know that I am not entrusting my dreams to these human beings, I am entrusting my dreams in my God, the One who CANNOT lie, and He says,

Write the vision down, and make it plain on tablets, that he may run that readeth it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it, because it will surely come, it will not tarry.

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart: and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.
A man's heart deviseth his way; but Jehovah directs his steps

Delight thyself also in Jehovah; and He will give thee the desires of thy heart. Commit thy way unto Jehovah; trust also in Him and he will bring it to pass. Rest in Jehovah, and wait patiently for Him...

What is impossible with man is possible with God... 

Not that making it King James'y makes it truer ;) :) but yeah, those are His words, Him, who declared the end from the beginning, Him who saw my end before I was conceived. 

 

I made my dream board slash vision board early yesterday morning as part of this programme I'm being taken through. It was exciting, like going back to being six years old and making cuttings to stick in my little scrap books,  of who i wanna be when i grow up... but also, you're like whoa! you know, you're not six anymore, you're all grown up, you know what the reality is like... isn't that too much? But He owns the cattle on a thousand hills and all silver and gold belong to Him, that is my Father. What shall i fear?

 

 

A vision board

 Me, I'll share mine when i think I'm officially done with it, maybe in a few weeks... it's crazy, but it's mine, like a child... you can't throw them away...

Faithful is HE who promised, who will also bring it to pass...