Monday, January 3, 2011
Someone asked me something interesting towards the end of last year. We were talking about stuff in general and I was just saying how much I was looking forward to next year now this year so I could maybe start over. He asked me, "What if Jan sucks, then Feb and March suck, are you going to sit around and wait for the next year?" I didn't have an answer. Everyday we get a chance to start over again and take back the wrong decisions we make day after day, but the thing about a new year, much like a birthday, is that it gives us a perfect opportunity to actually start over with the calendar backing us up. One could start over in December, but January just seems better, I suppose. And January is here.
A lot of things will happen this year. I become a senior in September, I go for internship - the first time the reality of life as a biochemist will dawn, i turn twenty two among other things. More than anything else though, I want a lot to change inside me. There was a time last year a friend and I were talking about quiet time, and how confrontation with God is hardly a peaceful experience. Those moments reveal to a person things about themselves they never even knew existed, base and wicked attributes. Which is why most of us fear those moments of silence when He speaks. I know I do. I've seen stuff in me I didn't know was there, and it scares me a lot.
I've never had resolutions, i used to think those are just a few more things I'll have to look back on and regret come end year audits. This year I have a few resolutions. I want to bet on people, bet on life, bet on opportunities. I've lived in cynicism and skepticism because no one you don't expect a thing from can disappoint right? The greatest One I want to trust is Him. I just realised that I trust no one. And that's a sad way to live. I'm gonna be like Anne Frank, I'm gonna give someone a chance. I'm gonna believe that people are really good at heart, like me, they just make some really stupid choices sometimes, and then taking them back seems impossible so they just keep going. Sooner or later I'm gonna have to take a chance on someone or something, why not now?
A lot of things will happen this year. I become a senior in September, I go for internship - the first time the reality of life as a biochemist will dawn, i turn twenty two among other things. More than anything else though, I want a lot to change inside me. There was a time last year a friend and I were talking about quiet time, and how confrontation with God is hardly a peaceful experience. Those moments reveal to a person things about themselves they never even knew existed, base and wicked attributes. Which is why most of us fear those moments of silence when He speaks. I know I do. I've seen stuff in me I didn't know was there, and it scares me a lot.
I've never had resolutions, i used to think those are just a few more things I'll have to look back on and regret come end year audits. This year I have a few resolutions. I want to bet on people, bet on life, bet on opportunities. I've lived in cynicism and skepticism because no one you don't expect a thing from can disappoint right? The greatest One I want to trust is Him. I just realised that I trust no one. And that's a sad way to live. I'm gonna be like Anne Frank, I'm gonna give someone a chance. I'm gonna believe that people are really good at heart, like me, they just make some really stupid choices sometimes, and then taking them back seems impossible so they just keep going. Sooner or later I'm gonna have to take a chance on someone or something, why not now?
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Resolutions are fine if they are kept...problem is...I never keep them for very long, so now I just take things one day at a time.
You are more than welcome to visit my blog and become a follower. If you put a "follow widget" on this site...I will gladly follow you as well.
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