our hope endures...

P.S:   I don’t know whether it’s the New Year, or the writing gig finally releasing my words from the confines of my head, but, hey, I’m writing chronically, and that’s always good news…

Tonight I got into bed, sat down and did my usual pre-vigil rituals, and decided that maybe this should be one of those days I sleep early. I’ve got no writing to do, which is most of what keeps me awake till wee. So I should sleep early, do tomorrow some service by being well-rested. After the usual running around the bed, lying prostrate on the floor, nodding eight times, spitting at the ancestors  :) :) :) and the full spectrum of my customary dealings, I was ready to go to sleep. 

So I’m one of those bad people who sleeps with the laptop next to the pillow, and today was no exception, except this time when I took it up to take a last lap round the necessary in-trays, I remembered this sticky note I’d placed on my desktop to look for this “Jesus to the World” song I’d heard on One Gospel a ways back. And it had just sat there… yesterday I couldn’t find a downloadable .mp3 version, you know, saving the bundles. I found it today, at the exact place I looked yesterday. Aunty Beaty would be pleased to caption this moment, she’s always telling me to “tafuta vitu kama girl”. I never do. 

Anyway, so here’s the song, Loyiso Bala is awesome. I literally have it on replay tonight, the whole night. Talk about self-hypnotization.

Nevertheless, this song reminds me of some devotional I read by this 19^th century guy, Oswald Chambers. “And the Lord turned the captivity of Job when he prayed for his friends.” And he was saying that there is no better time to pour oneself out for others than when you things aren't working in your life and faith as you hoped. Hhhmmm… some paradox. When you have a sick person in the family it’s easy to forget that outside of you guys life goes on. Your view of life compresses to them, a day at a time. Because if you count the weeks turning into months, it’s easy to feel like there comes no end in sight. 

But life goes on, other people hit bumpy patches on their road too… my friend’s mum is in ICU, another is sick, another’s mum suffered a heart attack… Others are hitting bumpy patches. Life goes on. So here’s what Loyiso says:

Because our hope remains,

As we receive we freely give away

As we are filled we are sent out again

Taking Jesus to the world

Jesus to the world, Jesus to the streets

Jesus in my hands, meeting others’ needs

Jesus to the world Jesus breaking chains

Because our hope remains

I’m taking Jesus to the world

Rather than fixate on what’s going on in my life, I should be doing what I can for someone else. So there, we have watched, we have prayed, we have almost lost faith, we haven’t… Still we stand… and now I’m taking requests, :)))))))))))) anyone who thinks I can be an answer to their prayer, ndiye huyu mimi, ready and at your service. Lol!!! No, seriously though… There is much gain from intercession. 

My mum is a staunch believer in herbal remedies, meaning over the years I’ve seen some ‘interesting’ concoctions, the best of which has always been aloe vera. When I have anything from rash to woman pains, there she comes with it. I promptly remember that I can manage the pain after all, coz that stuff is magic, lakini…. She just smiles and says “When you’re in real pain, utaikunywa tu”. Anyway, this one time it was so bad I woke her up at 5am like I was three all over again. As usual, she sent for the herb, which she has conveniently filled our backyard veggie garden with. When it came, I drank it, no question and no hesitation. She’s right, again.

My point, sometimes when you’ve tried so many things and someone tells you this will work, you do it in a heartbeat, just because it might work. This is where I’m at. So if God says look out and be a blessing, I’ll do it. Help me Jesus…