opinions and such...

I’m seated at the salon letting my left-handed hair lady work her magic. I swear, this lady is hands-down my best hair dresser yet. Not because she does marvellous things to my head, well, they are far above average certainly, but more because it’s totally painless. I mean totally. As in I can comfortably construct a thought and type it down where in the past my head would be placed in some impossible angle, my face contorted in a labour-esque expression (I imagine) and my hands pressed tight to my ears as if that should prevent me from kuskia uchungu.

I should get this hair dreadlocked already, I keep chickening out and fearing I’d miss those two days in between undoing the hair and my next salon appointment – the crying in the shower because the comb won’t go through, the sadness as I throw entire handfuls of what was on my head in a bin and worst of all, if within those two days I absolutely must go away from the house. This hair business is a hard one. If it wasn’t that the Lord Himself called it the glory of a woman, I would have scoffed. Maybe I inwardly scoff still, those two days in between. I think I might follow this lady to the ends of the earth, if I do not lock it first, which judging by how long I’ve been dread-locking this hair inwardly, might be another few months (years, but you know).

Anyway, enough about my hair. I was hanging out with Kevin this weekend. Not hanging out per se, just those few moments in between hospital visits and getting back to town. Kevin is my brother, a nice, sensitive and incredibly talented man. Also very frank, I recently found out. Because he said something about which I had a contrary opinion and now I can’t seem to forget. Because he was not utterly wrong. Maybe he wasn’t wrong at all. On any other day, this is not strange, growing up we got along as well as any adjacent siblings, but it was something I wanted him to agree with me on. Or at least not outright and bluntly disagree. He is supposed to be the nice one. This is something on which his opinion had some bearing. So I wish he was less frank. I wish he had been a little tactful, because now I can’t seem to forget what he said.

It’s amazing how much other people have a bearing on our own opinions. Yes, we all want to be demi-gods, mutated into higher beings with no thought for anyone else’s opinion. I wager that anyone who thinks they don’t care is lying, just a little. They may not care as much, but they care all the same.

So I’m seated here ruminating over Ps 32:8, I will guide you in the way you shall go. This verse that like three years ago I picked up from our chitchats with Ms. Wami. And trying not to panic too much. Maybe allay my fears a little. It could be nothing at all; I keep reminding myself that three quarters of the things we fear don’t ever happen. Ergo, relax woman!! It is well, now. Not it shall be, it is, now. Be quiet child!